Petrina And Joe’s Morning Show Blog

It was probably one of the most difficult decisions we had to make.  Picking one winner from a list of beautifully written letters.  Some were raw and heartfelt.   Some were earnest and sweet, ALL were deserving.  So that’s why we decided to do what we could. 

Call the client to try get more prizes.  And lucky for us, we’ve got beautiful and generous clients, who’ve decided to sponsor another diamond necklace worth more than $2000 for another lucky and deserving mother.

Woohoo!!  Watch this space.  We’re going to try to do something never done before on radio. 

This is so exciting@!

You may have heard about the most pointless (but fun) gadgets on the show this morning.  We don’t know the actual purpose of this but we thought it was hilarious.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the “Humping Dog”

If there’s one thing I learnt from watching my mother die, is this. Don’t wait till someone is suffering to tell them you love them.  Sure, there’s nothing like death to bring out the truth in people.  So here is my little dedication to my mother.  I’m glad I had three years whilst she was battling cancer to give her all that I could, but what keeps me going everyday is knowing that she’d lived a full and wonderful life.  Sure, it would have been nice if she could witness the birth of my second child, watch Victoria blossom into the wonderful girl that she is now and see how I’m growing as a person everyday, but I take heart in knowing that a lot of her lives through me as I carry on the journey for her.

Because of your dedication to the teaching profession, I now do my work with professionalism.
Because you go the extra mile for your students, I learnt to put others before me.
Because you inspired your students to do better, I try to inspire others when I work.
Because you lived life with passion and indulged in your interests, I learnt to feed my soul.
Because you stayed faithful, I learnt about the ultimate sacrifice.
Because of your courage and strength facing death I now live life with no fear.

For those of you who missed Joe’s ode to his mother…

One of things my mum did was support the family especially at the very beginning when my dad was still in school (as in university) as a seamstress. Her clients were very diverse… including the professional “ex-men” who worked the Bugis area back in the day when it was the compulsory stop for sailors with limited time but adequate funding for R&R. She made many a tranny look very good.

Of course, there are MANY MANY MANY more things nice to say about mum. But this will have to do for now.

And I want to thank Elliott’s mother for raising a wonderful, caring, CHASTE, young man…

Go on Elliott, go and do your mother proud! 

Because she sacrificed her job to take care of me after I was born till I turned 16 and she was there for me and my siblings while Dad worked hard to support the family.

And you too, we hope we’ve inspired you to write your mother a lovely note/email/card whatever, to tell her how much she means to you.  Do it not because of the promo (that’s a good excuse) but do it because she is your mother.

And finally…. Herewith lies the ode to one LEE AH SENG’S mother.  We, the producers of the Morning Show do not in any way condone or confirm the statements that lie beneath. But here it is anyway, coz it’s so…it’s so…I don’t have the appropriate vocabulary!

Mommy dearest thk you fr giving birth to me with 4 strong limbs, Once I was born I cld crawl, u said its grandpa genes, Growing up on a diet of cookies & cream, At the age of 4, I see gals oreadi can steam, And as the years go by, my mojo grew in strength, So did my dick, in thickness and length, Iwish u knew how strong I hv become, how far I can ejaculate, My record is 8 feet across the room, hitting the face of the indo maid, But I am an adultnow, some powers of mine I cannot show, But dear mommy, my love for you I will not hide, it will always grow -lee ahseng

I know…you can hear it a mile away…

I TOLD YOU SO!!! It’s horrible what happened over the weekend to that sweet little boy Russell Koh who lost his life because of the lack of seat belts. Those of you who listen to the show will know how both Joe and myself are quite ‘psycho’ when it comes to belt safety in cars.

The question is really why it had to come to this. How many more lives lost before we make this part of our psyche, our everyday, something we MUST do, like brushing our teeth.

I know, not very in the circle of happiness but I had to say it. So, let’s not stop at children/humans in child restraint, let’s go all the way, and restrain ALL who travel in vehicles.

This is how it should be done!

It’s Ben and Jerry’s Free Cone Day! Go and support, support! Don’t just eat free ice-cream kay? Head on down to  any of their 8 participating outlets from 12 noon onwards and grab yourself  some chunky munkies or chubby hubbies…don’t forget to drop some money into their donation box for the Singapore Children’s Society!

It’s exam time people, and in Elliott’s Fun Pole today he asked…

Who’s more stressed, The Students or The Parents.

Well, apparently 75% of you said Students are more stressed.  For more talkback and discussion, head to www.stomp.com.sg 

Hi Kids!

Yup! Here’s your chance to give Mom everything she’s ever wanted AND some! Ok, I exaggerate, in my very unscientific survey of mothers when asked what they really want, Sleep and some ‘ME’ time always come up. It’s true. As a mother, I know what it’s like to juggle a million things at once and stilll try to look semi-decent. It’s not easy. Most often looking decent takes a backseat and we’re in danger of looking ‘old haggish’. This is why we’ve decided on THIS mother’s day, we’re going to reward your mother with a day of complete pampering.

She’ll start with a shopping spree at Tangs Vivocity accompanied by a professional personal shopper and then head off to Mahogany Hair, Body and Soul along Killiney Road for a complete head to toe make-over, new hair style, colour, make-up etc, and then she’ll don the Sentimentalle Diamond necklace from TAKA Jewellery worth over $2000, and parade her brand new look to you and the rest of the family at Copthorne King’s Princess Terrace for a sumptuous Penang Buffet.

So if want to save yourself ALOT of money and also because you love your mother…

All you have to do is tell us why you(if you’re a mother and in desperate need of pampering) or your mother is so deserving. Start your email with BECAUSE… and send it with a photo of mom to mothersday@radio913.com

I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t watch TV anymore these days.  Mainly because we only have a ‘tiny’ 13 inch LCD TV in my Mother-in-Law’s room, and more importantly, watching TV is so 5 minutes ago.

I guess given the crazy schedules that we have, nobody really  has time anymore to sit down from 8-9pm every night to watch re-runs of OLD movies on Channel 5.  SOMEBODY help these people out.  All I can say is (on behalf of people who still watch TV) THANK GOD FOR CABLE!

Anyway, that’s why I love youtube! I can still keep in touch with what people are watching and talking about without the silly ads.  And if there were funny ads out there, I can still watch them on youtube.

And it seems that youtube is the way to go now to get noticed.  If you’ve got over a million hits on youtube, chances are you’re on your way to international stardom, doesn’t matter if you’re a wannabe singer in Bulgaria or an ex-wrestler who has a fetish for tight PVC pants and hip gyration! (HARD GAY!@ Hoooooooo!!)

So, we thought we’d have a Morning Show Hotlist!

Here’s one of my favourites.

I love Jimmy Kimmel and his crazy girlfriend, Sarah Silverman.  Both talented comedians with their own shows and both NUTS! And in case you’re not one of the few million people who’ve seen it already, here’s the background.  Kimmel has a little running gag going on his show where he makes fun of Matt Damon.  Anyway, let’s just say it’s all a little tit-for-tat!! And with very impressive results.

Here’s Sarah’s in your face dig at her own boyfriend.

And of course Jimmy wasn’t going to take this ‘lying down’, or more importantly he took it ‘up the butt’ literally!

Those are some of my absolute favourites, but there really are so many, we should have a top 10 list.

Joe? What you like?

Well this one always makes me cry… it is THAT funny…

Elliott? What you like?

As you know, my dad is a musician, this is a video of his bassist who seems to be quite drunk while he’s playing.

According to Elliott’s Fun Pole this morning, apparently 84% of Funpollsters agreed that Man U fans do take themselves too seriously!!

What do you have to say about that Elliott?

Anyway, we played this on-air today so in case you wanted to see what this ‘Bulgarian Idol’ looks like,

Here she is with her very own rendition of Mariah Carey’s Without You!

On that note!! I Ken Leeeeeeeee….alibududu douchooo!! Later!

I had a real problem deciding which Singaporean director we could really call our own Lee Ang.  According to Life! today, these directors are Singapore’s most successful ones who’ve all won accolades at the Singapore International Film Festival. 

Royston has had most critical acclaim and i guess recently some commercial success with his getai crowd-pleaser 881, Jack Neo has had the most box-office success though not favoured by the critics.

Kelvin Tong seems to be building an auteur-like status for himself with his recent string of horror films that have also been rather well received.  Eric Khoo….well…is Eric Khoo….

Anyway, if you are one of the 90% of Singaporeans of watch at least one movie a week then you’d know ’something’ about the medium. Perhaps you’ve harboured thoughts of making one of your very own. Films that is.  But all great dreams, always start small. So how about making your own short film.  And I know…I can hear it already.   Where got time? That’s why this is so cool.

We’re talking about the 48 hour film festival.  Those of you who heard the show on Monday would have heard our interview with Meghan and Mike who are the producers of the show. It’s happening this weekend at the Arts House, where you and your selected team of ‘professionals’ will be living and breathing film for 48 hours.  You’ll be given a prop, a line of dialogue and a genre of film and then off you go to make your short film for one entire weekend.  The winner of the Singapore chapter will get their film shown at Filmapalooza in LA with all the winning entries from the other 76 cities taking part. 

We’re trying to get Elliott to do this.  Heck, he watches enough movies and has a crazy knack for memorizing the most obscure lines in film dialogue.  So, if you’re keen, check out the web-site!

—- 
I’ve recently discovered the joys of Hard Gay.  If you’re not familiar with him…Oh…he’s special.  Very special.  Check him out on youtube.

In case you’ve never checked us out on youtube or asiaone.com, we’re there!

The hottest video on youtube right now….

Yes! 577 hits and counting!! Woohooooo!!

Thanks for listening as always and we’d love to hear from you.
 

It was H.A.D. on Monday. Husbands Appreciation Day… Funny, when we started talking about this, all was quiet on the ladies front.  Nobody came out to share their thoughts on appreciating their husbands.  Sad really. Maybe it’s not that women don’t appreciate their husbands, it’s that they just don’t say it…

——————-

I don’t know if you already know this but I am a geek. Not all round, but especially when it comes to magic.

Among the greats for me is David Blane. This video is really an amazing one… it’s not David… but I think it’s magical.

WARNING – Some of the language here is coarse! Funny, but coarse.

And you might find the characters in this game you can play somewhat familiar.

Rina sent us an SMS to alert us to this….

Here’s a bit of the story from the Star Newspaper in Malaysia…

SIGHTINGS of a pontianak (woman vampire) captured on video have caused a stir among locals in Malacca, reported Harian Metro.

For the past fortnight, droves of people have gathered at a bridge near Jalan Pulau Gadong, Malacca, where the 50-second video-clip was purportedly filmed.

Many stayed up to the wee hours of the morning hoping to catch a glimpse of the spectre.

You can read more here….

As we looked for the video – we found this instead… (apologies to your boss for wasting another 5 minutes of your “work” day).

We also found the “actual” video… Spooky..

And not so “actual” videos…

As always thanks for listening! And your comments are MOST welcomed!

And yes… I still haven’t filed my taxes. E-filing deadline TODAY PEOPLE!!!!

Don’t worry.  He’s got it under control appparently. 

Like our new look? The colouring pencils make us look very learned eh?   Like we have knowledge.  Like we know the difference between Caran D’ache and Derwent, like we have many colouring books.

Anyway, we’ve been a little slow on the updates, because until we can find a BLAVE (Blog Slave) to help us out, we’re going to have to do this all by ourselves.  As it is, I’m sacrificing beauty sleep and adding wrinkles to just trying to fulfill all my duties….(being taxi-driver, grocery shopper, story-book reader etc.)

So, as promised, besides not having more than two ads in a row, we play you all the biggest hits from the 90s till now and this morning on the show we debuted this lovely lady from California called Marie Digby (pronounced Ma-ree-ay) Her new album is out and she’s hot! What with a Japanese mother and an Irish-American father, add to that some serious musical talent and voila, perfect formula for youtube sensation!  She’s got about 6 million hits for her rendition of Rihanna’s Umbrella.

Check her out here….

In Elliott’s Fun Poll today, we ask, “Is Farting Funny?”
Of course to many, this is a loaded question in more ways than one. For most, it really depends on the context. Like hearing one is always funny, but it’s the ones that we can’t hear that are deadly. And like this video, can also cause serious bodily harm or in this case, get ready for a romantic dinner!

For those who wanted to check out the 10 lovely guys from the Are You Men’s Health Enough contest. Send in your votes now!!

Hi Guys!  Sorry we’ve been so quiet on the blog front.  We’ve been trying to sort out some technical problems…Seeing as how I’m not very blog savvy, this has been an interesting learning experience for me.Thanks for all your replies and comments on our pictures. 

As you can probably tell from all our pictures and videos on youtube.com, that we’ve been having a ton of fun! It was gruelling quite honestly, but definitely an experience of a life-time. So we’re quite surprised to see all the exciting changes in terms of landscape when we arrived home. 

The Big Splash is now going to be a giant Carl’s Jr??? Hooray!

You might have heard the Chicken Impossible ringtone this morning on our show.  For a laugh, download it as your ringtone and make your friends giggle! (It’s free but there are some info to give them… you could just listen to it on-line without giving any info).Puck Puck Puck!!!

5 Singaporean Primary school boys have done us Proud at the 2008 World Stacking Championships held in Denver, Colorado this past weekend.

If you’ve never heard of the sport…and before you poo-poo it as some silly thing…watch this…and then try it yourself!

Everybody is Kung-fu fighting! Haaaiii YAH!!

It’s set in the ground of Pialligo Plant Farm, kinda like a cross between the Thomson Rd Nurseries and Dempsey Hill in Singapore, Podfood serves sophisticated, contemporary food prepared by one of Canberra’s leading chefs.

 Housed in a renovated 1930s cottage, we indulged in some of the best dishes we’ve had so far on this trip.  From Pesto encrusted Barramundi to Giant Prawn tempuras to the best Lamb chops to fresh crab linguini, we were silenced by the explosion of flavours and the subtlety of textures.  Whilst it was so well thought out and blended, it was accessible and definitely delicious!

And for the first time, there was silence at the table as we were all too busy stuffing our faces! They also conduct cooking classes but make sure you book well in advance (we’re talking three months at least!!) But definitely well worth the wait.   

Unexpected Australia, Day 1 in Perth!

So the gang left for Australia on the Friday, March 21.

And I tell you…we’ve done more things in 2 days than anyone could do in a week!

So we checked into the Holiday Inn Burswood early Saturday morning to catch some shut-eye.

Our Unexpected Perth journey started at 8.30am on Saturday…it was the start of an awesome day full of food and wine and CHOCOLATES!

Stop 1: Miami Bakehouse – http://www.miamibakehouse.com.au/ (Site’s under construction but just reading the page makes you drool)

Stop 2: Margaret River Povidore – www.providore.com.auStop 3: The Margaret River Chocolate Company – www.chocolatefactory.com.au

Stop 4: Cape Lavender – www.capelavender.com.au

Stop 5: Quay West Resort Bunker Bay – www.mirvachotels.com.au

Stop 6: Driftwood Winery & Restaurant – www.driftwood-winery.com.au

One of those technical things.  Somehow I wasn’t able to TYPE letters in this little space yesterday…

But we’re BACK! Hooray! We all caught Horton Hears a Who this week with our kids, and Elliott with his ‘boyfriend’ Herbert! Fun Film with wonderful cast and great animation and wonderful moments.  Our favourite character from the film…the evil Vulture Vlad! Hilariously voiced by Will Arnett.

You know men don’t talk very much, especially to each other and very reluctantly to women. 

While men pretend that they’re wired with steel cable, not nerves, they have their shakedown moments, too. Here are some of the biggest worries that can weigh on a guy’s mind, courtesy of Men’s Health (Yes I secretly read this magazine whilst on the potty!)

That He’s Going to Lose His Hair — Yes, it seems surface-level to worry about such a vanity issue as baldness, but lots of guys equate follicle failure as a failure in masculinity, as well. Everyone knows hair loss has nothing to do with how funny, smart, or good a guy is. But knowing is a heck of a lot different than feeling.

That He’s Going Broke — Many men feel like one of his largest charges in life is to be able to provide comfortably for his family. While money and job problems have their own tangible effects, they can also undermine the way he sees himself as a man. So if he’s a little freaky around the checkbook, it’s because his bank balance is closely tied to his emotional balance.

That He’ll Have One Cheeseburger Too Many — Millions and millions of guys worry about their health — more, of course, as they get older. The one killer that really makes us think: the heart attack. One minute you’re watching Simpsons reruns; the next minute you’re staring at the ceiling of an ambulance. Because we’ve read too many stories or known too many people who checked out earlier than they should have, the threat is always lingering — in our bodies as well as our minds.

That He’ll be Called Out in Public — Some of us are thick-skinned when it comes to taking criticism from bosses, spouses, and every other kind of critic. And some of us have skin thinner than a Spring Break T-shirt. But none of us like getting called out or picked on in front of a crowd. It’s not that we can’t take the criticism, or can’t think of a comeback, or can’t accept the fact that we’re imperfect. It’s that public attack forces us to counter-attack or retreat — both of which have their downsides.

That His Kid Won’t Make the Free Throw — Granted, a guy is going to worry a heck of a lot more about the big things when it comes to parenting. But want to see a guy’s heart pump? Put his kid on the field, court, or dance floor. He’s pulling hard for his gene-carrier to do well — not because he wants to live vicariously through them (as most people assume), but because he wants to see their smiles and their fist pumps. It’s because happiness is directly correlated to theirs.

That He’ll Fail to Perform in the Clutch — When a man can’t rise to the occasion he feels about as useful as a ‘63 Oldsmobile with rusted spark plugs. But before you put him up on blocks, reassure him that more than one in ten will have trouble with erectile dysfunction at some point in their lives, and the other 9 guys out of 10  have good reason to be concerned as well.

Redneck Mansion…

 

The Results of our News Poll

80% of Pollsters said they will wear a mask if a similar flu outbreak (like the one in Hong Kong) were to happen here.

Thanks again for listening and if you like the show and want us to be better, tell us… 
 

Well, they are the people to ‘blame’ for our ever flourishing ERP gantries, higher taxi fares, road diversions and yes whilst we’re at it, Mas Selamat.  Why not eh?

But seriously, according to our news poll, slightly less than 40% of pollsters are now spending MORE money on taxis than before the price hike! So it seems people have changed their habits quite a bit.

For your convenience, here are the Flight of The Conchords with Business Time

An Indian guy has been named Hong Kong’s funniest comedian…

We don’t speak Cantonese, but you decide… Here’s a video.

Those of you who listen to us religiously every morning, I just wanna say…WHY???? Okay seriously, thanks for your support. Some of you enjoy it for the humour, the wit and sometimes pure silliness.  Whatever the case may be, one of the things I think makes the show ’special’ is the difference in our personalities and of course the fact that I am woman and he (Joe) is man.  Physically that is, but if you listen to the show you’ll realise that Joe is really a Woman trapped in a big man’s body and I’m really a gay man in a woman’s body! Quite complicated stuff but fun nonetheless. 

So whilst I was thumbing through Esquire Magazine, I was tickled to find this little article that apparently attempts to enlighten the feminine folk on the finer points of the male species…Warning ladies, most of these sound vaguely familiar!

TEN THINGS WOMEN DON’T KNOW ABOUT MEN

1) You don’t want to be judged for your looks; we don’t want to be judged for our wallets. Unless we’re ugly and have lots of money. Then it’s OK.

2) You’re not the only person who likes to be called “sexy.”

3) Saying “I love you” is a major step in a man’s life. That’s why we wait for you to take that step first.

4) We are not being cheap when we make $35,000 a year and can’t afford to pay every single date. We are merely being practical.

5) A guy who spends too much time in the gym is making up for something else that’s lacking. Unfortunately, you can’t figure out what it is until it’s too late.

6) Don’t get mad at us because we don’t remember what you were wearing on our first date, or the angle of the light during our first kiss. We were probably drunk.

7) You’re good in bed if you make us feel like stallions.

Jealousy isn’t a sign that you love us more, it’s a sign that you trust us less.

9) Hanging up on us is a surefire way to make sure we go to bed mad.

10) We’re sorry. Whatever it is, we’re sorry.

Anyway, more reasons for you to waste time at the office.

1. Ever feel like a McAttack?

2. Just pop the dress to get to the woman…

New Campaign Poster idea for the CKTIC (Char Kuey Teow Information Council)?

How was your weekend?

Well I spent most of mine worried if I was pregnant again.  For those kay-pohs out there….NO, I’m not. Phew! But it was a close call.  So, in light of the recent study conducted in Erie, Pennsylvania, the best sex should last between 7 and 13 minutes. Researchers randomly surveyed sex therapists in the U.S. and Canada who said that anything more was “too long” and less than a minute was “too short.” In response to the study, Australian sex therapist Dr. Jane Howard said, “Usually women are quite happy with short intercourse, and are not bothered about prolonging it at all, but nearly all men want it to be much, much longer.”

I dunno, maybe these respondents mis-read the survey as length of sex organs and not sex itself!

So we thought we’d have our own little sex survey crafted just for you our dear listeners/readers.

1. What turns you off more.

a) Skid marks

b) Disinterested Male Member

c) Bad Breath

d) Fill in the Blanks…..

2. In which year of your marriage did sex become more interesting/exciting.

3. Which is your favourite position?

Send us your replies and yes we’ll keep your identities secret.  Except Lee Ah Seng, please behave yourself ah??

I shee shee, you shee shee, but some people shee shee very farnee….

Okay, no need so drama.  I think the married ones amongst us already know most of this, but sometimes we don’t do it. I’ve been interviewed three times this week about being a parent, balancing work and family life and how to keep the marriage alive that I thought I’d leave you with some tips on how to keep the fire burning in your marriage.  Not that I am some expert.  But I can certainly cut and paste…

 TOP TACTICS TO KEEP A MARRIAGE STRONG, OR HELP MAKE IT STRONG AGAIN

Happy couples, the ones that endure and remain heartily committed through good times and bad, often make a commitment to staying that way, and you can too, with the help of these marriage tips.

• Show affection regularly. Whether it’s a kiss on the cheek, a touch on the arm in passing, or a hearty “thank you,” happy couples are not shy about showing affection.

• Keep arguments respectful. When you argue, stick to the issue at hand and avoid making personal attacks. Arguments that are kept fair can be constructive, but if you veer off into the land of mean comments and personal attacks, you’ll likely never reach a compromise, much less a solution.

• Communicate. Along with arguing respectfully, it’s important to communicate respectfully. By sharing your thoughts, concerns and ideas regularly, you create an open environment of trust and intimacy.

• Be nice to your spouse. Studies show that for every negative thing that happens, it takes five positive things to balance it out. Happy couples go out of their way to do nice things for their partner on a regular basis, which will keep the overall marriage positive, rather than negative. Little things do make a big difference.

• Choose your battles. There are likely numerous little things that you COULD argue about in a day (heat settings, TV volume, snoring, etc., etc.), but some issues are simply not solvable, nor are they worth getting upset over. Save the arguments for the big stuff, and simply learn to live with the rest of it. You’ll both be happier in the long run.

• Do fun things together. When a couple first meets, they instinctively prioritize their relationship and do all types of new, exciting activities together. Years later, after kids and other obligations enter the mix, it’s up to you to make time to do things together. Keeping time just for the two of you, to do something you both enjoy, will keep things feeling fresh.

• Laugh together. Everything does not have to be about paying bills and picking the kids up at soccer practice. Make an effort to find some humor — especially if things are tense — to keep things positive.

• Show your respect. Strong marriages are built on mutual respect. This means sticking up for your partner, supporting them, and never badmouthing them to your kids or in-laws.

• Do things YOUR way. Here “your” refers to you and your spouse. It’s important that together you establish your own traditions, daily rituals and methods for raising your children, taking care of finances, etc. If there is a meddling in-law, sibling or friend who is allowed to interfere, it will undermine the idea of YOUR marriage.

• Be empathetic. Make an effort to understand your spouse, hear their concerns, and share their excitement. Studies have found that people who have empathetic personalities are more likely to report being satisfied in their long-term relationships. These people are also better able to show compassion and to see things from their partner’s perspective — both keys to a satisfying marriage.

For those of you with too much gas too much talcum powder and perhaps too much time…

Check out this video…

Thanks for all your comments and I will try to address them once I  figure out  how to!!

Have a wonderful weekend! See you at Isetan Scotts tonight 6.30pm tonight (I’ll be wearing my Maximiser!!) or you can catch Joe (He won’t!) at the IT show from 5.30pm. 

Thanks again for all your sweet words and support.

Where the hell is he? Why is he still at large? When will the jokes end?

Just a couple questions people are asking.  I hope that with time, people don’t forget and start to get complacent.  Like the way they have with Osama…

Anyway, if you are into bugs…

Check out this installation www.bodhiart.in

Acrobats and Their Scenes by Hema Upadhyay at Bodhi Art 11 Unity Street #01-20.

Thanks for listening. And also for leaving your comments and suggestions. I apologise if the blog entry today is a little scant and not terribly funny, but we’re having a crazy week…if only we could  bitch about it….

A joke nonetheless…

A wife and husband are relaxing in the family room when the wife asks, “What are you doing?” The husband says, “Nothing.” The wife says, “Nothing? You’ve been looking at marriage certificate for an hour.” And the husband replies, “Yeah, I’m looking for the expiration date.”

Here’s a way to waste some time at the office.   Ever wondered what gets spilled on the roads?

When you don’t have Internet to spread the word, this is how you do it…

We struck a chord this morning when we talked about lies.  Seems like we all do it to some extent and apparently according to Susan Shapiro Barash, who wrote the book “Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie” women do it better.  Not just better, but more cleverly and successfully.  Apparently we do it as a survival technique and also to get what they want. There was an outpouring of lies. Men and women confessed their deepest, darkest secrets, and we didn’t even need to put posters up or spread our legs to get you to reveal them. 

Here are some of the lies you tell.

• Been lying about being straight
•  I am 44 . My wife is the kind that don’t like to attend any of my company function so when there is night function like D n D or dine out with friend . I just have to lie to her that i am working late overtime and so work all the time 4 me.
• the biggest lie i have made and is still guilty of is pretending not to feel anything towards my best friend. its been a yr now and i’m stil lying everytime i talk to him.
• Telling office my appts for e day r full n spend e day playing card game with buddies!
• Lie: I’m late for work because I had a stomach ache.
• Men are easier suckers, not that women are better liars.
• No it wasn’t me who farted
• It was really really good.

Speaking of telling lies … a JOKE!!

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, “Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.” “Because,” the man says, “I live in a two-story house.” The Judge replies, “What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?” The man answers, “Well Judge, one story is ‘I have a headache’ and the other story is ‘It’s that time of the month.’

 Granted not very imaginative this woman. (in the joke) For the average woman in Singapore, it would be 56 storey condominium, man!

And thanks to the wonderful people at talkingcock.com who continue to amuse us daily with their humour and wit and in this case photoshop skills…

The photos that they should  be putting up at your respective lift lobbies.

Selamat Jalan Makchik

Selamat Cosplay!

 

 Selamat Mukah Hijau!

Peace brudder…jangan tension. Like my bunny ears?