Petrina And Joe’s Morning Show Blog

And this time, there’s not much to say except that I am SO pissed off at what’s happened and is happening. More details at the www.morningjam.com

Hi guys, it’s Joe.

One of the things that I always talk about is changing the world. This video is not meant to be preachy. It is a video from conference called TED where people to share ideas - and I think it is pretty powerful stuff. I discovered it as I was researching an environmental show. And I really think it’s worth sharing. If it’s too long to watch all at once, I hope you’ll come back for the rest of it when you have time. There is a particularly inspiring final 10 minutes that speaks of the opportunity that this climate crisis is presenting us.

If, you are like most Singaporeans, you never saw Al Gore’s movie, “An Inconvenient Truth”. That was from a few years ago. This is his new message for 2008. And it is good.

Not sure if you saw or heard this… This is something that happened last Friday on the morning jam on Power 98.

And a little background for you if you don’t follow the show - every Friday we try to come up with a challenge for each other. This was the grape-stuffing one. Please feel free to share this with others. Send them this link -> http://petrinaandjoe.com/?p=86

Thanks.

By the way, I keep saying that Hossan looks like a who from Horton Hears a Who - but no one else seems to know what I’m talking about. So here’s a picture of a who or two…

And here’s Hossan’s video.

I was reading some of the latest comments about the new Power 98 show I’m doing and I’m getting the general feedback that “it’s just not the same”. And to be honest, that is a good sign. If it was such an easy thing to duplicate the magic that Petrina and I had on our show as we saw our last days on the air, then it would have made our work then redundant.

Chemistry is something that takes time to build. And for Pet and myself, it actually did take us quite a while to become famous friends on the air. Anyone who heard our earlier shows would have heard a rather hicuppy show with potential - and hopefully as you stuck around, we matured as a show, and you became accustomed to our style, or lack of it

The secret ingredient is the friendship that we built all those hours together on the show. Believe it or not, we never were friends before we worked together. Sure we knew each other, working occasionally on voice jobs together… but besides that we were just acquaintances.

But as we bitched about how crappy the studio was, how stupid a commercial was or shared some amazing gossip about someone we both knew - we got closer. Our kids go to the same school, we are both regulars at Mellben Seafood (Petrina introduced me to that) and we call each other just to chat.

And that’s what you would have heard on the air.

So where does that leave the Power 98 Morning Jam crew? Well I think we’re off to a great start. We are literally less than 2 weeks off and we are already getting in trouble with management as a team. That to me is a great sign of better things to come.

Shareen and Hossan are amazing people. You really should drop by our show and get to know us a little more. Sure we’re still finding our way as a group of friends, but that’s the way it goes I guess. Here’s what you can expect…

Shareen Wong has no fear - except for irrational things like the word “Daddy” said by me, food and drink consumed on  a tray and most recently, mint chocolate flavoured anything.

Hossan Leong is the Energizer bunny - who arrives everyday with his roller luggage (yes, like flight crew) and is one of the funniest people in person and is actually way too polite on-air… (we will fix this soon) 

Joe Augustin is the retired male model who’s just so tired of people focussing on his good looks. Soon people will recognize him for the uber-geek he really is.

By the way, there is a blog for that show too at www.morningjam.com

It’s amazing, but I have been SO busy that I haven’t had time to look after this blog. Just think of it as an untended bush (eek!). Recordings, meetings and unplanned-for naps (i.e. falling asleep at the desk/sofa/toilet/traffic-lights/etc).

So this will be quick as well - it’s 8:30 at night and I still have to do some more recordings after this.

Have you guys heard the show yet? (I know, kan-cheong spider, right? Second day, already want to know…)

Oh and for those of you who caught it, this is the game that Hossan and Shareen were trying to win at today. Please turn down the volume in the office before you play… Unless your office is VERY cool. Check out…. PUZZLEFARTER!!!

… Joe here by the way

I was thinking about what I had done the other day. And even if you don’t consider my impetuous youth, where I worked as a teenager on Radio Television Brunei and Inner FM in Australia, I have really been around. And I never had any protection…

I was hired in 1990 for Perfect 10 98.7, transferred within 2 weeks to Class 95 where I did the evening drive show. Then I was moved up to mornings in 1992. Was transferred to Radio One 90.5 for 6 months to spruce up their evening show, and then it was back at Class 95’s Morning Express with Melissa Hyak.

 in 1994, my new partner was Jessica Soo. In 1996 she was replaced by The Flying Dutchman who was joined by Audrey Ying for a short time.

In 2000, I was the highest-paid part-timer in radio, on the no.1 show on the no.1 radio station and what did I do? I had an attack of the principles and quit.

I took a pay-cut and took up something I swore I wouldn’t do - I joined management - at Power 98 while still doing mornings with Hamish Brown and Denise Tan. By 2002, the management thing had almost completely killed my will to live, so I retired myself from the radio race.

Unfortunately, as I listened to radio, I was soon overwhelmed with the buay tahan feeling (I cringed at what was passing for morning radio) and so I threw myself at Power 98 (for even less money) - and got going with an amazing (in my opinion) show with Maggie Lim.

Then in 2006, just as, the Power morning show was just getting some traction with the audience… I did the unthinkable.

I quit again. (I just don’t learn!)

I joined WKRZ 91.3 - which was, according to my friends, the ultimate WTF move -  WKRZ was then known as the techno station. But I really thought there was potential in a revamped station. And so, like a 30-something with sagging boobs and a bad reputation, Radio 913 was born after some massive reconstructive surgery. Unfortunately, when my all-time best radio partner Petrina Kow quit, the plastic surgeon in residence decided it was time for more work. And so I too was replaced by bigger boobs.

But being the persistent slut, I immediately set up a hook up with an old (radio) flame.

Well you know how things can get… One thing led to another and now we’re going steady… and I’ll be doing it with new partners too starting Monday - Shareen Wong and Hossan Leong on Power 98.

I hope they don’t snore.

Yes. I am trying to put pictures on the blog.  But at the moment, laying eggs actually seems simpler. 

I know some of you fine gentlemen and ladies reading this would so LOVE to come to this DAMNED-SEL’s rescue and just do it for me, but I am hell-bent on getting it UP.  Kinda like how our dear Bluddy (Blog-Buddy) Lee Ah Seng would feel when surrounded by the top-grade cheena girls from Tiananmen KTV.

So I try again. And again. And again.

And I type faster, and faster and bang on the keyboards harder and harder. (Err…this is really weird but as I’m typing this, I’m hearing my neighbours with the REALLY LARGE WOODEN BEDHEAD bang away literally, next door…)

Lucky for me and my poor husband who’s sound asleep, it’s all over before I can even finish typing this sentence.

Anyway, back to getting it up, this is what my computer tells me when I try to upload a picture. 

After I try to ‘Add Image’ by ‘Choosing File’, the screen goes blackish-grey and out pops a little candy striped stick who is apparently ‘Crunching’.  And that’s bad I gather because HTTP ain’t too happy about it as it wants me to ‘Dismiss’ the ‘error’. 

If someone can please translate that to English, Mandarin or even Cantonese, I can GET IT UP!!#@^%$

Now, if Kim Seng CC offered this course, I would be the first to sign up. 

Joe! How????

I can’t be so hard just to get it UP!

Now I know how men feel.

Boo-Bloody-Hoo.

I’ll keep it short:

        I am back on the radio.

        I am back on the mornings.

        And I am back this Monday.

I don’t have enough time to give you more details right now. I’ve gotta run (I actually snuck out of a meeting and borrowed an internet connection to post this). 

Seriously. Like what Joe said, you guys have been fantastic.  We never did expect this sort of response from our listeners even beyond the morning hours.
Even though I’m beginning to see the emergence a a few potential ‘blog-stalkers’, (blalkers??) I believe all of you are like me, quite the ah lian/beng one.  Minus the blond hair, long fingernail and chut chut sound effect, we are basically fiercely loyal to our friends.  ’Jiang yi qi’ as the chinese would say.  You do something bad to my ‘peng yew’, I pull out all your fingernails. (okay, I actually don’t really know how to do that, but I can find people who know)

Now you all make me very kang kor lor!! People quit already, now after all this, I feel like coming back. See lah. Backside itchy.

But don’t worry, I won’t anyhow quit here then suddenly appear there one.  Not my style.  I am really not in the position to ‘come again’ if you know what I mean.  I wouldn’t have quit otherwise.  

It’s just that with your overwhelming support now, it does make it hard to leave this COE (Circle of Entertainment) But I have no doubt that my good friend here, Ah Joe, is more than capable of wrecking radio havoc on the scene with his giant mic-hete (geddit geddit…mic plus machete…hahaahhah..)

I am so lame. Speaking of which, I’ve been doing some hot yoga lately. And I tell you…it is HOT! Like kena sweat in areas previously with no sweat glands. I felt dizzy and almost threw-up a few times, but hey, I made it through the class. But I must say there were a few aunties in the class who were bloody good. Twisting and contorting their wrinkled sweaty bodies with grace and ease whilst your young nubile friend here, collapsed a couple of times into the child pose to hang my head in shame. Even the uncle with the pot-belly faired better than me. So I’m going to do more yoga so I can one day out-cobra, out-down dog and out-crane them! Hai-yah!

Thanks again for all your support and for keeping this blog going. It’s quite fun isn’t it?

I need to ask you… for a favour.

But before all that I have to say a few “thank you”s.

First thanks to John Cheong for setting up the Facebook group “How Dare They Fire Joe Augustin?”. I really appreciate the gesture.

Second, thanks to everyone for getting involved. Quite a number of people think it’s a goofball thing to say, but one of the main reasons I keep doing this, is that I believe that someone out there needs what I do to have a better day.

Third, I want to thank 91.3 for setting me free. For those of you who know me - I am all about meaning. And increasingly I was finding less and less meaning to what I was doing except for the radio show with Petrina. And when Petrina decided to quit, I was quite literally at my wit’s end. I was in two minds. Should I quit or try and “find the love in the scene”?

I decided I’d stay. They decided I wouldn’t. So I couldn’t.

It was my first radio firing.

But not the first time I was taken forcibly from my audience.

The last time that had happened, was back in the old days of 95, when the management there decided that they needed to freshen up the mornings and so they brought in a morning team. I was redeployed on 90.5 for the evening show for 6 months.

All that time, I thought about how I could get back to the morning show. I came up with a proposal for a morning show on 90.5 and to my surprise, they told me they wanted me to do that show on 95.

And just like that… I was back.

Well guess what guys… I will be back.

But this time it has to be different - in one VERY important way.

All those other times I was doing a morning show, I was either:

a) unable to promote my show specifically, when I was in charge at Power - and had to be “fair to all the other shows” (read “office politics”) or

b) I left the promotion of my show to others who had been hired by the station to do that.

i.e. I did not actively market my own show.

Next time I will and frankly… I must.

But I do not have the money to take on the media giants that I probably will be up against. And yes, whoever it is I’m working with should be doing it, but I do not want to take that chance.

So I will need your help when that time comes.

My question is - Will you be there?

You know what people.  It takes time to get used to new things.  I know a lot of you are still reeling in shock over our sudden departure but conspiracy theories aside, the new show does take a little getting used to as with all things new.  Like how my iphone died and now I have to get used to a new phone. (actually it wasn’t that hard because even though I had state of the art fancy touch phone, I still harboured secret longings for regular nokia no-brainers)

So if you really die-die must listen to radio and you still love the music then give them a fair go.  If really cannot tahan then take out your ipod or do like I do, listen to BBC or my children’s CDs.  Hey, “The Wheels on The Bus” is VERY uplifting on the way to work okay?? MY personal favourite, “Do You Know The Muffin Man”.  Always puts a smile on my face!

But seriously, Joe and I have been consoling each other over bowls of cheng tng and the more we find out about things, the more we see that the puzzle pieces don’t add up.  However, because we still are disciples of the Circle of Happiness, we realise it is better to let go and focus on the important things in life.  

Like today, I finally got a SINGPASS. Not life-changing, but a rather pleasant experience at Kim Seng CC and found out they have Abacus Class and Recreational Folk Dance class for only $50 a month! 

Also, I have A LOT of toilet paper in the house now.

And I finally brought the bag of dry cleaning to…YOU GOT IT, the dry cleaners!

So whilst it sometimes (okay ALL THE TIME) irks me to listen to mediocre radio, I must look into my box of COH and realise, there is a time and place for BLAH.  Some people don’t mind BLAH. BLAH is good. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…..

OH god help me!

I just found the “truth” about why I had to leave - at TalkingCock.com <- click to read what they said.

But my favourite theory about our sudden departure… 

It was a hoax.

Well, the news is finally out - on the radio and in the New Paper.

I have always had respect for Sheik Haikel for his creative career - we worked together on a few things in the past. And it was funny how I had spoken to him about doing the morning show with me the week before I was fired. I was impressed with how he was speaking as though he was already on the show - saying he was all set to commit - despite his other showbiz interests.

I thought I was interviewing for a new partner.

He may have had a different perspective on the conversation.

Looking back, it is quite possible that a decision had already been made.

And to be very clear to you - I don’t believe that, at that time, Haikel had any idea of the plan to replace me. So I hold nothing against him. And neither should you. (As to who you should hold something against… is something I will save for another day, when I am less likely to say something really shocking).

Do I have advice for Haikel?

Get it in writing.

Picture this:

2 chinese girls, 2 half Indian girls dressed to the nines in the middle of Little India, swapping sex stories and cackling like banshees in a family restaurant…Somewhere between the mutton briyani and the nicely decorated pappadum (yes I’ve never seen the humble ol’pappadum assessorized!) someone blurted out, ‘You’re so Charlotte York’. (played by Kristin Davis in Sex And The City)

Besides our folliclly challenged husbands, apparently I’m also virtuous, always positive and sweet etc…

And then it occurred to me that it wasn’t too long ago that I was so channelling a Carrie Bradshaw.  Gone are the days of pondering over the lingering love with Big whilst trying to move on with other men.  More importantly, gone also are the days when I worshipped her clothes and style. (What’s with the blue bird in hair?? I can think of some Hokkien Words that are..never mind)

Sometime later, whilst wrapping palik paneer in my garlic naan, we got to dissecting the concept of sluts. My theory (and this is really not for everyone) is that ALL of us have/had a slut phase. It can happen when you’re between long-term relationships or if you’re a real slut, ALL the time. It’s a time of experimentation, a time of discovery and also on hindsight a rather stupid thing to do. But one thing’s for sure, just because you HAD a slut phase, does not make you A SLUT. (unless of course, you’re still in it)

Now that my whoring days are well and truly OVER (sigh) I can only live vicariously through my still single but somehow not so slutty friends. At the end of it all, everyone’s still looking for love even if it’s in all the wrong places.  For me, I’m quite happy being settled in a loving, long-lusting relationship with my baldy, and we don’t need to go to Little India to look for spice either, at least for now!

Share with us your slut phase theories!

You see. Told you all before right? Joe is such a char bor. People kena dumped then what he do?? Like Carrie Bradshaw in the latest big screen offering from the ‘Happy Campers’, he hired an assistant.

If I was more like a woman, I might feel compelled to hire one.  Actually I did. But not to sort through mail and manage my now non-existent career, but to manage my household, so I will not be toilet paperless again. Yes, I’m not what is known as a xian qi liang mu. (virtuous wife, loyal mother) And in my mother in law’s words, I like to play, I like to kay-poh etc. So I’m not exactly the most organised mothering type. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for all things domestic, Martha Stewart, Real Simple, Target etc, but I appreciate the aesthetics much more than the application. It’s just that when time is limited and one feels compelled to engage in more than just ‘poo-poo and pee pee’ talk, one must look for help in areas that are essential to run an efficient household. So yes, I’ve now got me two domestic helpers.  Something I never thought I’d do, but then again, I did the Tower of Terror right?

One thing though, those of you with two helpers in the house, is it better to have both from the same country (ie, Megawati or Gloria) or do like Suharto and divide and conquer?

Right now as it stands, I’m dividing and conquering, but would love to hear from people about their experiences…(yikes, too late right?)

Anyway, am knee deep in going through my old (pregnancy) clothes (yes I still have them and am STILL wearing them one year on!) and have decided to do serious wardrobe make-over.  Anybody want hardly worn, rather trendy non-mumsy clothes?  It’s quite horrible but I’ve got some stuff here that could even fit Joe…

Vodcast is a great idea, since we’ve had quite a lot of experience yakking to video on asiaone.com. Plus we’re so good-looking somemore! ON LAH!  

Where’s my spotlight?

Hi it’s Joe. Sorry I have been so quiet.

First up, I want to say thanks to my fiercely loyal partner on the radio Petrina for her friendship and support throughout all this. Like a chihuahua baring its little teeth and yelping its you-got-to-be-kidding-me bark at anyone who dares to get too close, she’s had my back. (And I am NOT referring to her as a little *****).

It makes me miss doing the show even more. Not many people will ever be able to tell their grandkids that what they had to do for a living was to talk-cock-sing-song with their best friend for 4-5 hours a day. 

Next of course, a HUGE thank you to YOU, the listener without which our shows would only be psychotic presentations to no one. With you, they were psychotic presentations for an actual AUDIENCE! Please stand up… it’s my turn to applaud you.

It seems that almost everyone who’s been in touch with me has had the same 3 questions for me… So I hope this helps.

1. How are you?

I have actually been very well thanks. As the title of the post suggests, I have been very much at peace with what happened. I guess the old “Circle of Happiness” has worked a little of its magic on me. I have also been busier than I was before I got fired. Recordings for animations, commercials and corporate videos. Could be all the press I’ve been getting.

2. What happened?

The next question is the big one. I really don’t know what happened. One week I was dealing with having to go on after hearing that my best radio partner by far (with apologies to all the others before) had finally decided that she could not take the strain of doing the morning show any more in combination with all the other responsibilities she had as a mother, wife and series director at Peach Blossom Media.

Next, I was trying to put together another show. And then when I came in for a meeting about the show, where I was sat down and told any show with me would invariably be compared to Petrina and Joe - and so to avoid that all together, I wasn’t going to be a part of it as they made a fresh new start. A decision that apparently had been discussed with other members of management.

Sometimes I’m asked, “What REALLY happened?” And I always reply the same way… I will not speculate how that decision was made…

And of course the last question is…

3. What’s next?

Well for one, I have hired an assistant. He helps me market my show hosting services to event organizers and corporate clients. If you’d like you can drop him a line at chris@joeaugustin.com to make an enquiry.

Also, we WILL do a goodbye show (yes, Petrina, we got to work together on a show… but it cannot be in my super small cupboard studio). And to make sure you get to hear it, come back soon. I don’t how we will manage it, but we will get that show to you. Tell your friends who might care.

And finally… yes, I am working to get back on radio. The rumours have already been flying about this one. Some people have gone as far as to congratulate me on bouncing back. Unfortunately, I really can’t say anything about this. Not because I am not allowed to, but simply because nothing that has been confirmed and that would be almost as bad as speculating.

Almost.

Stay tuned.

Dudes. 

Seriously.

Making me cry.

Stop it!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your encouraging albeit strongly worded comments. I know you’re all feeling a little jibbed but hey so are we.  But you know….I like the suggestion of a farewell podcast and we might just have to do one now…

Damn it.  

See lah.

Quit already still come and kar cheow me….

But donch worried. For all you beautiful people who’ve wasted precious time on us. We do for you.

Okay Joe? Sorry ah, should call and ask you first but I think you won’t mind hey?

I know you all feel like the carpet’s been yanked out from under your feet, but I teach you.

Level 13 in The Circle of Happiness Book says, “When feeling short changed, fill your pockets with love and compassion.”

Thanks for hanging out here instead! Believe me, once I figure out how to put photos onto this blog, you’ll see nothing but photos of my ‘hamsum’ son. (very free now mah, become tai tai already!)

Cheers

P

Hey guys,

I guess some of you might be wondering why we’ve suddenly disappeared on air, even though all you’ve heard from us is that we’re just taking one week’s leave. 

Before the rumours get real silly, I thought I’d set things straight since I kinda started the ball rolling.

So here we go…

Once upon a time, Petrina Kow decided to do too many things at once. She was hosting the morning show, running the household, taking care of two kids, and directing two pre-school animation series.  After many weeks of no-sleep and frantic schedules and wrinkles that started popping up in hitherto unforseen places, plus the fact that there was no toilet paper in the house, (and she didn’t even realise it!) Petrina Kow decided it was time to give something up.

Since she can’t really give up her children or her husband (or the toilet paper) she had to make the rather painful decision to give up her beloved morning show with Joe. It was not an easy decision but it had to be made.  She then took a week’s leave to visit relatives in Taipei and celebrate her son’s first birthday, and was all set to return to the show for what was to be the last week of the Morning Show with Petrina and Joe, where she was going to do a proper explanation to her beloved listeners and they’ll understand, and they’ll also ‘kuai kuai” listen to her and love Joe’s new host and all will be fine, life moves on, she’ll be back when she’s got more time…etc.

However, two days before going back on air, she was told that she didn’t need to come back anymore. 

And several days later, Joe was told to leave.

So these are the facts, as I know it so far. 

To all of you the silent majority who wake up every morning chuckling along to our friendship. Thank you for the wonderful times, thank you for the laughs, thank you for making the sacrifices worth it and mostly thanks for listening! 

With Love,

Petrina Kow

A lot of people are going on about our friends from China. They come, they take our jobs etc…

I have absolutely no problems with Chinese people who come to our country to find a better life for themselves.  They work hard, they work for less, they do BETTER work.  Gee… as an employer I find that a bit of no-brainer.  Singaporeans are seriously spoilt. We’ve had it too good for too long and perhaps a little spoon-fed when we’re growing up and now we don’t really know how to fight for what we want. (Or perhaps we don’t even know what we want!)

Anyway, our local beer aunties are finding their livelihood on the line because of younger, prettier beer ladies.  Get in line sistahs! Welcome to the world of showbiz.  What’s crucial perhaps, is not so much the fact that you’re aging, but I guess it’s about what you do with yourself as you’re aging. 

Having said that, I do acknowledge the fact that the Kopitiam industry would not have been an area of concern for these ‘aunties’ as it seemd to be totally their ‘di pan’. (territory)

Time to look at sprucing up the community calendar with new courses at our local community centre.

“BEER LADY 101″, “HOW TO LOOK LIKE CHINA-GIRLS” or “THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM IN LIBRARIES”.

Meanwhile, for those we really love their beer so much and want to lie in it as they go meet their maker, here’s a guy who’s already done so with his favourite beverage in Chicago.

In our Fun Poll today where we asked if you preferred China Girls or Beer Aunties, looks like all is not lost for our favourite aunties. 40% of listeners still preferred our local ladies. What do you think. You can contribute your ideas on www.stomp.com.sg

Meanwhile those of you wondering about the Marie Digby Showcase this Friday 9 May at Velvet Underground and have won tickets AND ARE UNDER 18, unfortunately, you’re going to have to pass the tickets onto someone else. Apologies for that. Although if you’ve won in the contest, you still get the CD and poster but you will not be allowed to enter the area for the showcase.

Thanks again for your support of the show and the station. Go tell a friend!

So just a few days ago we blogged about the seats belts. And then yesterday we heard news that the powers that be are ‘gathering’ to lobby for some kind of ’solution’.  Whaddayaknow people…BAM! POW! ANOTHER ACCIDENT!

What does it take people?

Anyway, that’s about all the wingeing I’m gonna do about this.  As you know this is Singapore’s premier comedy show, so we’re always looking for something funny to say. 

Inspired by our very own MDA rap, we decided to write our very own rap to promote seatbelt safety to our youth. Complete with Superhero characters and fun lyrics!

But in case you are the ONLY one left on this island who hasn’t yet seen the famous MDA rap video! Here it is for your enjoyment.

We’ll be putting up our rap song in a couple of days, once we get it recorded PROPAH! Yes yes Yall!

And don’t forget to get your entries in for the Morning Show Miraculous Mommy Make-Over! With an entire prize package worth over $4000 it’s really too amazing to pass up. Send us a photo of your Mom together with a short description of why she deserves it to mothersday@radio913.com. Do it NOW!

Also don’t forget to check out our asiaone video this week and every week. asiaone.com!!

Tell a friend (okay many friends) about the show…only then can we achieve WORLD DOMINATION!

Thank you!

Sometimes you read and hear about these things and you ask yourself “WHY??”

But in this case I found myself saying…’Okay, sign me up!’ Except I don’t actually have a penis.  But fear not those of us non-penised individuals…Penis Giqong Works for us too!

In case you haven’t seen or heard, Iron Crotch Man not only exists, he has thousands of disciples all over the world. Read more about it here. But here’s some quick ‘tips’.

Master Tu Jin-Sheng’s Penis Qigong Tips

Penis qigong has some specific prohibitions that can be useful advice for any qigong practice.

Watch what you eat very carefully

When you wake up in the morning, do not urinate. Instead, exercise to sweat it out.

The hours from 11 PM to 1 AM and 11 AM to 1 PM are not good times for exercise, but good only for meditation.

For every season there is an appropriate focus. Summer: Shen (Spirit) Autumn: Sui (Blood Circulation) Winter: Jing (Vital essence) Spring: Qi (Life energy)

For this type of training you must have a teacher, otherwise you might get hurt.

Don’t try this at home. 

Speaking of superheroes, A JOKE!

Three women — one engaged, one a mistress, and one married — are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men. That night all three will wear a sexy leather bodice, stilettos and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet again. The engaged girlfriend says, “The other night, when my boyfriend came home from work, he found me in the leather bodice, 4″ stilettos and the mask. He said, ‘You are the woman of my life, I love you.’ Then we made love all night long.” The mistress said, “The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega-stilettos, the mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn’t say a word. We didn’t leave his office for hours.” The married woman then said, “The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s for the night; I got myself ready, putting on a leather bodice, super stilettos and a mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer and said, ‘Hey Batman, what’s for dinner?’”